Gratitude was something I didn’t begin to understand until my late teens. I wanted a lot of things, experiences and feelings. I struggled with anxiety and depression. Happiness always came in big short spurts, then I was back searching again. Gratitude just crept up on me. I believe that has everything to do with Faith. As it did, I settled into my own skin and the clouds lifted, and happines was attained by doing many things, and my art shifted toward painting the small things, the smile, the eyes, the colors and the feelings.
I’m not sure if it’s a bad thing or not, but passion and obsession rarely rear their heads unless I’m painting. As soon as the piece is done, I’m thinking about what’s next, rolling something around until I can paint it. I wish that I could get up every morning and sit down at my easel and just work, make things, and write, but I can’t. I don’t believe in myself enough to think I won’t starve. I’ve pissed away the opportunities because I wasn’t confident enough, by putting my art aside for a relationship,  or just by getting lost in my head.
Anyway, isn’t it maybe time to reach for the stars? To have Faith? It will be too late one day.


This entry was published on October 25, 2014 at 9:43 am. It’s filed under art, life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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