It’s strange being me, a bag of contradictions. I so looked forward to the weekend, to having no plans. Here it is a beautiful day and I miss church and Sunday dinners, and conversation. But I’m frozen in my tracks, I can’t pick up the phone, go for a walk, get outside. I want to be left alone and yet I’m feeling at loose ends.
Working on a painting. Feeling discouraged. Working through it. I tell everyone I have PTRD- post traumatic relationship disorder. I’m not being funny, not at all. I think it’s been long enough. I’m reverting to my single 20 year old self… the girl that stayed in and painted and didn’t go out and have fun…have I learned NOTHING?