Do you wonder what new leaf you’ll turn over in the new year? What resolutions you’ll make? Are you hopeful? It’s only two weeks before Christmas. Here on the Eastern Shore we’ve barely seen the sun for over a week. Needless to say it makes me feel a little down. But I try to come home from work and paint and to be productive.
I’m thinking about how to make my life happen, how to make joy the rule, not the exception. I’ve been single for 17 months and around the holidays it feels a little sad… parties, family gatherings, giving, and sharing involve people. But I’m such a hermit. I click my heels and I’m home, home is where I want to be. Everything lately is a contradiction. Life, art, everything.
I miss loving someone in a day to day nicety way… “can I get you coffee?”, “what shall we have for dinner?”, the small talk. I love my kids, but they’re gone, doing their own thing, living their own lives. I love my family and friends. But I miss the actions of loving someone. In ways I think I express both joy, and that hole in my life, in my art. I think I’m going to mull over some resolutions. One is definitely going to include travel over the holidays next year!